What Time Is It?: The Art of The 3am Feeding

Hakuna Matata!

Things have been busy over the past couple of weeks. Everybody is doing great, but is exhausting on Mom and Dad to say the least. Going forward we will try to update the blog once a week and to that extent, we will be having guest posts from Katie. What does that mean? Probable payback for all the stuff I posted about her during the pregnancy. I hope you will enjoy.

So, let’s jump back before the 4th of July. Katie and the boys had a shower on July 2nd, which in conjunction with another shower has proceeded to fill an empty closet in the nursery. On July 3rd, the boys were baptized in a nice, but hot, ceremony. Thanks to all who attended.

The 4th was as fantastic as it always is. We head up to Katie’s Aunt’s house on the lake for the day. Lots of good food. Boat parade on the lake where all the guys dressed up as ViQueens. I was able to bust out my French Horn to play the Viking horn call. So take that all of you who never thought I would have a professional gig to play the French Horn after college. Snuck in a quick nap and then set off a wonderful collection of mortars and rockets to end the day. Good times.

I took the week of the 4th off which was great for some quality time with Katie and boys. This allowed all of us to get more sleep which was fantastic. But since having returned to work on Monday, I’ve never wanted to sleep so bad.

The real highlight for Katie and I over the past few weeks have been the middle of the night feedings which typically occur anytime between two to four in the morn. It’s hard to describe the insanity that occurs during this time, but I will my best. Neither of us have ever been so delusional in our entire lives. There is this constant battle between trying to stay drowsy enough to quickly fall back asleep when Tom and Joe are finished eating versus being awake enough to properly tend to their needs. If the feeding only last 15-30 minutes, staying drowsy would be no problem, but to stay in that near catatonic state for 60-90 minutes is hard. Real hard. But that doesn’t mean we don’t try. Therefore, the most random of bumblings, the most evil of stares, and the most short of tempers are present. What does this add up to for Katie and I? Pure hilarity.

For example (you probably won’t find these funny, but we do):

This conversation occurred while Katie was feeding Tom and I woke up to Joe crying, who was indicating his need to eat.

Brian: “I’m confused. I don’t understand what I’m supposed to do. I thought they woke up because they were concerned about their life insurance policies.

Katie: No Brian. They woke up because they are hungry. We are going to do what we always do - feed them and change their diapers.

Brian: “Oh.”

In a serious, but half awake, half asleep evil tone to Katie:

“You probably want ME to feed Joe. I know how it is. You are always trying to take advantage of me. Well, I'm not going to put up with this anymore. You can feed Joe.” Katie would tell that this statement is really quite the opposite of reality. 

Usually, the boys need to eat about 120-150 mills (4-5 oz) to sleep 3 to 4 hours. Anything less, and they will sleep less. So, here is a wonderful conversation between Joe and I.

“Joe, how much did you eat? Oh, 60-65 mills, that makes daddy clammy behind the knees”

So, as you can tell, these annecdotes are probably only funny to Katie and I during the middle of the night in the formerly described delirious state.

Picture time:

This is from baptism day.